The Singles Jukebox
UK Chart Prediction League: Week 005

and we’re back. During my absence for, what turned out to be, much of March, the chart prediction league fell by the wayside. It also became clear that our point system was hardly understood by the people reading the column, in any case (well, at least one person who had the courage to speak up about it). So, this week we’ll begin anew with a run-down on the points, current standings and next week’s picks. Without further ado…

The Points System

Each contestant chooses their top ten. For every right answer, in the right placement, they acquire points. If they choose the number one single of the week correctly, they receive ten points. If they choose the number ten single of the week correctly, they get one point. Fill in the middle accordingly.

Each contestant receives an individual score. This individual score is also put into a team score. The teams are the United Kingdom and the United States.

Current Standings


Todd Burns – 72 (Byes: 4)
Dom Passantino – 58 (3)
Scott Plagenhoef – 35 (3)
Scott McKeating – 33 (4)
William Swygart– 30 (3)
Gavin Mueller – 26 (3)
Simon Hampson – 22 (3)
John Brandt – 10 (3)

This Week’s Picks

United Kingdom
Scott McKeating

1. McFly - 5 Colours in Her Hair [NEW ENTRY]

“Let’s invent another NKOTB who play their own instruments and write their own songs!”

“B-b-b-but Boss we already have Busted. Our very own spotty chancers that the young ladies love and the snobs accept because they played their own instruments”

“They are no longer as pliable as they once were. They have discovered that we control the music they release and will not accept their attempts at looking beyond my five year plan. Bring on McFly, those shifty little tits will remove Busted from their throne and put their potty in its place.”

2. Usher - Yeah

DefCon One sirens at number one last week. A great pop moment.

An ever reliable singles artist, Usher is beginning to look like the only serious contender to Jackson’s dusty Pop/R&B; crown. Ludacris’ cameo verse is as good as ever, it’s a shame that on his own material he’s starting to sound so worn out.

3. DJ Casper - Cha Cha Slide

Do you think anyone will still have a copy of this single in their collection in six months time? Sub-question: why haven’t they invented biodegradable cds yet?

4. Atomic Kitten - Someone Like Me/Right Now [NEW ENTRY]

Have they split or not? First I heard they were having a break because Sharon (or whatever) wanted to spend time with her demon offspring, but now I fear it may be permanent. Can anyone ease my restless nights? Obviously the single is pish.

5. Blue - Breathe Easy [NEW ENTRY]

My current bugbear, they are so formulaic it hurts my guts to even watch or hear them. I don’t like them, I don’t like them on little bit.

6. Lasgo - Surrender [NEW ENTRY]

Go! Boom boom boom boom. Bring on the whistle posse.

7. The Darkness - Love is Only a Feeling

Now that the "Are they taking the piss?" debate seems to have settled down, let’s see where they take it. This is a little lame, and that solo sounds too much like Big Country for my liking. But anything that takes good old fashioned rock music into the top ten that is not Bon Jovi related is good news.

8. Britney Spears - Toxic

Just when I thought she was out, one Eastern riff pulls her back in. Isn’t everyone sick of her already? Are we all still teenage boys with instant hard-ons the minute any female appears on TV in her knickknacks? I’ve seen more sexual energy in a whelk.

I was hoping this would bomb on release forcing her into ever more ridiculous promo stunts, hopefully involving playdough. Isn’t there a new brunette sensation (for a bloody change) ready to come up from the lab yet?

9. N.E.R.D - She Wants to Move

The album’s a bit crap, innit? But no matter, as long as their Neptunes work continues to surprise and interest (check the Cee-Lo album), so you’ll get no backlash from me.

This song stands out a mile, and speaks volumes about their constantly improving arranging and writing skills. The pre chorus melancholy Piano is out of this world, and you can never go wrong with handclaps all over a track.

10. Basement Jaxx Feat. JC Chasez - Plug it in [NEW ENTRY]

Really awful, just really really awful. Just what the world needs some blinged up Prince impressionist. Hopefully this will slide in and out of the top ten pretty quick.

Simon Hampson
1] Usher – Yeah
2] DJ Casper – Cha Cha Slide
3] Atomic Kitten – Someone Like Me
3] Blue – Breathe Easy
4] Darkness – Love is Only a Feeling
5] Outkast – I Love the Way You Move
6] Sugababes – In the Middle
7] McFly – 5 Colours In Her Hair
8] Britney Spears - Toxic
9] Anastasia - Left Outside Alone
10] Kanye West – Through the Wire

Dom Passantino
1. McFly- Five Colours In Her Hair
2. Usher- Yeah
3. DJ Casper- Cha Cha Slide
4. Twista- Slow Jamz
5. Anastacia- Left Outside Alone
6. Blue- Breathe Easy
7. Pet Shop Boys- Flamboyant
8. Britney Spears- Toxic
9. Atomic Kitten- Someone Like Me
10. Kanye West- Through the Wire

United States
Todd Burns
1. McFly - 5 Colours in Her Hair
2. Usher – Yeah
3. Twista – Slow Jamz
4. DJ Casper – Cha Cha Slide
5. Blue – Breathe Easy
6. Anastacia – Left Outside Alone
7. Britney Spears – Toxic
8. Atomic Kitten – Someone Like Me 9. Kanye West – Through The Wire
10. Darkness – Love Is Only A Feeling

Gavin Mueller
1. Usher - Yeah
2. DJ Casper - Cha Cha Slide
3. Atomic Kitten - Someone Like You
4. Beyonce - Naughty Girl
5. Outkast - The Way You Move
6. Sugababes - In The Middle
7. Basement Jaxx - Plug It In
8. The Darkness - Love Is Only A Feeling
9. Britney - Toxic
10. Kanye West - Through The Wire

Scott Plagenhoef
1. McFly - 5 Colours in Her Hair
2. Twista - Slow Jamz
3. Usher - Yeah
4. DJ Casper - Cha Cha Slide
5. Anastacia - Left Outside Alone
6. Atomic Kitten - Someone Like Me/Right Now 2004
7. Blue - Breathe Easy
8. Beyonce - Naughty Girl
9. Darkness - Love Is Only a Feeling
10. Simply Red - Home

By: Stylus Staff
Published on: 2004-04-02
Comments (1)

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