My friend texted me yesterday. �It�s over,� she said. �He doesn�t like Daft Punk.�

Fair call, I say. When you�re a music obsessive, these things become too important to trifle with.

Now, I�m someone who�s gone so far as to develop a list of non-negotiables on music taste for prospective partners. This is your basic �I could never love someone who doesn�t love Saint Etienne� kind of proposition. It�s mostly tongue-in-cheek and I can�t say I�ve kept to it very well, but it�s nice to tell yourself you have standards. Especially when all other evidence is to the contrary.

But this being the real world, it�s hard enough to find someone who is compatible enough that you can agree on a restaurant for your first date. So how can I be so choosy as to place demands on something as idiosyncratic as music taste? And, surely, I don�t want someone who is an exact clone of me? True on both counts. So, this is where it gets complicated.

You can�t really get it down to a base set of demands. Is a disagreement on your favourite band cancelled out by a shared love of the outdoors? Can they hate Camera Obscura if they at least like The Roots? Would you really break up with someone because of their music taste, all other things being equal? Is anyone so geeky they actually try and break things down to a dozen binary trade-offs?

Probably not, I�ll grant, but all things are seldom equal. We human being are fickle creatures at the best of times and minor things can play major parts. Most of my big life decisions have been little more than coin tosses with a veneer of deep consideration. It�s what makes Generation Y so infuriating to employers, parents, and each other. If you don�t know what life holds in five years or five minutes time, then a fight over the radio dial can be sufficient cause to move on.

In the end it tends to be less a matter of someone conforming to an exact list of bands and sub-sub-genres (�I�ve found someone who likes Broken Social Scene and post-1990 Detroit techno!�) than a shared basic philosophy of music. There are plenty of people in this world who outsource their musical taste-making to Clear Channel or AusStereo or BBC One. A lack of curiosity or adventure can be more troubling than differing personal preferences. The uncurious person�s taste may not be so different to the hipster, but blandness is an unforgiveable sin in most music fan�s books.

Sweden�s The Radio Dept are a band that will probably not feature in terribly many break-ups, but they have at least provided a soundtrack to anyone trapped in the dilemma. The new album Pet Grief sounds a lot like New Order�s �Regret� played really softly after complaints from the neighbors (a good thing) and it has a song called �The Worst Taste In Music.� Play it to your boyfriend and check whether you�ll go the distance.

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