83- Dead Cities, Red Seas, and Lost Ghosts, “Unrecorded”, 1:40 - 2:20
For the first time in my life that I count as valid, I have a girlfriend. I’d like to take this opportunity to tell you, the small world that reads this website, about her. We’ll call her E, just for the sake of argument.
E is one of the most beautiful girls that I’ve ever seen. Not in the traditional sense. I might even have to term her cute, if I had to make a decision between the two. But it’s not like I’d ever have to make that decision, so I won’t. I guess the way that I’ve come to see it, cute for most people takes on the view of something beautiful in my eyes. It’s all in how you approach things, and my approach comes at it from a different angle than most. But everyone I know calls her, at the very least, very good looking.
And maybe that’s why I don’t bring her around my fraternity much. Because I know how beautiful she is. Just in these small moments, these little things she does. It’s rather indescribable, you know. But it’s like...there’s so much beauty that she has...and that has to be taken as a given. But there are other times when she does things that transcend even herself, making it just almost too good. Like it’s as though there’s too much to go around and it’s just busting at the seams. Do you know what I’m saying?
Let’s take, for example, her hair. I love short hair. E has this short blond hair that just barely reaches to her neck, sometimes when it gets long it gets down halfway. But, like, when she runs her hand through her hair- it’s a simple gesture. Every girl does it. It’s almost standard practice. You’re expecting it. But the way she does it. I don’t know. She does it just so much more right than anyone else? It’s kind of hard to find the words for it. While all the other girls are going around in my life doing things pretty satisfactorily and nicely, E is just doing them on a level that I can’t understand. It’s obviously not about the hair. But I think you get the point of what I’m trying to illustrate here.
Let me try another way of describing this for you. There was this one time when we ate pizza together before we went to this concert. And we were just sitting there, I was kind of reading the paper but the cheese of the pizza came between us and it was like that scene from Lady and the Tramp where the spaghetti strand ends up being eaten on both ends by the two dogs. And instead of kissing we just laughed for a long time. Yeah.
It’s like when you’re talking about her or thinking about her you get this lump in your throat or this smile on your face and you don’t know what to say except “Yeah” or “She’s fine...” or “Sigh...”. It’s like not knowing what to say and hoping that she doesn’t think that you’re aloof. It’s like looking at her when you know she’s not looking at you and then turning away when she sees you. It’s like her asking you, “What?” and you saying “I don’t know.” It’s like not knowing if she likes you as much as you do. It’s like not being able to express how much you like her properly.
These forty seconds are like that.