Girls Aloud
Chemistry

Polydor
2005
A-
Reviewed by: Dom Passantino
Reviewed on: 2005-12-12



Posted 12/12/2005 - 07:47:35 AM by boilingboy:
 Great! Thanks for proving all the Top Singles of 2005 naysayers right about the Stylus top-40 fetish. It's not ironic, just dumb. Now...go ahead and pick apart my use of the word "fetish", since you have no intelligent response.
 
Posted 12/12/2005 - 10:00:12 AM by qwerty:
 Only made number #11 in the album charts. Ow!
 
Posted 12/12/2005 - 03:47:47 PM by BeingaBunny:
 oh boobies
 
Posted 12/12/2005 - 06:06:54 PM by d.a.boyfriend:
 Fuck the fuck off, boilingboy. Who the fuck ever said that Stylus (or anyone who likes *pop* music for that matter) is trying to be ironic? Don't you think that maybe, just maybe people actually LIKE this sort of music? That they want to write about it and discuss it in an intelligent manner? By continuing to lambast Stylus for some alleged movement toward anything at all is just stupid. People like what they fucking like, and snob-ass fanboy shitbirds like you can just keep on looking down your nose at people who listen to music that you deem "less" than your beloved indie rock or whatever the fuck it is you like. The less time you sweat what other people like, the better off you're gonna be. And also... is there some reason why you think ANYONE at Stylus owes you any sort of a response, intelligent or otherwise? The comments are for the READERS, asswipe, not to dialogue with cranks like you. Sure, Stylus writers turn up here from time to time to defend themselves from asshole trolls like you and to INTELLIGENTLY discuss the music reviewed, but to ask them to "respond" to you is more than a little self-important. I could give two fucks about Girls Aloud, Kelly Clarkson, or any of that pop shit, but if someone else likes it, who the hell am I to bother them about it? in fact, why should it bother me at all? Why does it bother you? Perhaps because you are only happy when you're shitting all over other people's tastes? Oh do grow up and find a mate and live a fucking life, boilingboy. Either that or get hit by a bus. Soon.
 
Posted 12/12/2005 - 07:10:29 PM by boilingboy:
 There we go again...any time someone objects to the pre-teen bent of the reviews here, they just get the knee-jerk "you indie hipster" response. By the way, this hipster wwas into underground music before it ever became commercially viable in the 90s. Insipid, hollow pop songs have been and will be around forever. Fine. just don't tell me it's artistically viable. Learn something about your music history, kid. This is a REVIEW site, bozo....I'm not on your review site because i'm sure you have nothing interesting to say. Thoise who cry out about critics usually have no taste themselves. Have you been pissed off because a reviewer didn't like your favorite Nickle back album? Poor puppy. Also, the writers here "occasionally" show up to voice their opinions? What a joke. They often outnumber the readers' comments.
 
Posted 12/12/2005 - 07:41:44 PM by d.a.boyfriend:
 I'm no kid, asshole. I'm 43. I've been a profesional music journalist for 20 years now. I know my fucking history. Unless you're really Xgau or something, I seriously doubt you know more than I do, you little punk. Your comments all over this board are just shit talking by an elitist music snob. I've seen your type literally THOUSANDS of times over my career and let me break it to you gently, darling... you are going to die lonely and bitter. I didn't say a fucking thing about this music having artistic merit either. Learn to read. I said I didn't care about it and don't listen to it. But clearly these people (at least some of them) do, and you have no right to crack them for what they like. Again, why do you fucking care so much what other people like? Gee, does it make you feel better about your blow-up doll and TV dinner or whatever? If this shit bothers you so much, STOP READING. This isn't a knee-jerk anything. I've been dealing with dicks like you since you were in short pants, and will be until I retire. I just don't care for the way you just keep showing up here and posting negative blast on the staff here. I don't know a single one of them from Adam, but I can tell you this: they write here because they love music. You post here because you hate what they love. And you don't see something wrong with that? Christ, your mother must have done a real number on you.
 
Posted 12/12/2005 - 07:56:43 PM by boilingboy:
 How about that...I'm also 43. I would think some one of my age and experience would have some kind of wisdom and/or belief system about the music they write about. Obviously you are merely burned out on music or you really just don't care anymore. Is it now more important for you to defend the writers, just becuase you are a writer? That's the whole problem, fool: This site is now more about the writers defending each other than actually having something to say. Therefore, I could give two shits about your writer loyalty. This is about music, and yes there should be some gatekeeping. You have obviousely forgotten that. Either way, your naivete is shocking. Do you really think this site has now agenda what so ever beyond a bunch of gentle ats lovers sharing their opinions? This is a COMMERCIAL site, with ADVERTISING. You're probably just a friend of the writers' anyway (or trying to be), so why should I care about your whiny, petulant insults? Here's to you re-growing your balls.
 
Posted 12/12/2005 - 07:59:51 PM by boilingboy:
 Damn, I just hate how typos ruin a good rant.
 
Posted 12/12/2005 - 08:06:02 PM by pagan_poet:
 It's official - Stylus now has no credibility whatsoever. First of all - how do you review one of the best albums of the year and not mention the best song of the year by a country mile? Wild Horses has more moments of sheer pop brilliance vacuum packed into its first minute or so than most acts have managed over their entire career. Second - how is this not album of the week? OK - I get that such a title would be a massive understatement as to border on offensive, but still?
 
Posted 12/12/2005 - 08:10:52 PM by pagan_poet:
 @ qwerty - the Girls shifted a nice 81,000 in their debut week in the UK (just shy of the first week sales of their last album and more than doubling the first week sales of their debut). Any other time of year they probably would have been #1 and then some. In any case - their record company will be more than happy.
 
Posted 12/12/2005 - 09:38:29 PM by skuter666:
 You don't ever get invited to parties, do you, boilingboy? There's a reason for that.
 
Posted 12/12/2005 - 09:47:42 PM by boilingboy:
 Actually, I'm quite popular. But thanks for asking!
 
Posted 12/12/2005 - 10:19:16 PM by dipdip:
 boilingboy is genius.
 
Posted 12/12/2005 - 10:46:50 PM by dougrokakis:
 Two 43 year old men fighting on a music blog? I would have to say that you are both equally pathetic. Maybe you'll both die old, alone, and bitter then?
 
Posted 12/12/2005 - 10:48:47 PM by boilingboy:
 Now THAT was funny!
 
Posted 12/12/2005 - 10:51:07 PM by dougrokakis:
 haha boilingboy = the Pancake Repairman of Stylus
 
Posted 12/12/2005 - 11:23:28 PM by boilingboy:
 ???
 
Posted 12/13/2005 - 12:22:56 AM by d.a.boyfriend:
 "Obviously you are merely burned out on music or you really just don't care anymore. Is it now more important for you to defend the writers, just becuase you are a writer?" Erm, no. I listen to shedloads of music every day and I never tire of it or fail to hear something interesting to me. You can't do this for this long and not love what you do. And I'm not defending writers -- I'm defending people's rights to their opinions. If I were to review this album, I'm sure I wouldn't give it an A or even a B. But why do you have to harsh on these people who like it? Seriously, what is your point? Just read it (or don't) express your disagreement, and move on with your day. Everything you post is angry at this site and it is a drag to read. I love the fact that this comment feature is here to inspire musical debate and feedback. But when know-it-all slugs like you just come here for no better reason than to piss all over someone's parade who has the AUDACITY to like something YOU DON'T LIKE? That ain't got shit to do with writers or ads or money or anything other than common human decency. I have many friends and a wife and two kids and I'll be damned if I like half the shit they play. But I don't waste my time cracking on them for liking it either. Let people like what they like. Don't insult them for having an opinion. Bad taste? Again, WHY DO YOU CARE WHAT OTHER PEOPLE LIKE? Grow up, old man. How did you get to be 43 and be so stunningly immature? Just like this very argument -- you've swerved like a madman to avoid what I am actually saying. Hopefully some of the rest of the readers here share my outrage at negative trolls like you.
 
Posted 12/13/2005 - 03:42:15 AM by trevauld:
 ah just shut up and enjoy a good review you old farts.
 
Posted 12/13/2005 - 05:38:58 AM by JimFitz:
 "this hipster wwas into underground music before it ever became commercially viable in the 90s" says it all, hilarious.
 
Posted 12/13/2005 - 06:53:30 AM by Justedieu:
 "You can argue that nobody listens to Girls Aloud other than 12 year old girls, raving homosexuals, and formerly-indie music critics" I am none of the above yet I truly enjoy the album... does that mean I'm about to fall into one of those categories anytime soon? Since I'm not a girl and older than 12 and have never been a music crit, will I turn into a raving homosexual ine the days to come? Apart from that, truly splendid album. And I agree with pagan_poet, how's this not album of the wek? or maybe you could have created an "album of the month" thingy just for it.
 
Posted 12/13/2005 - 08:00:18 AM by boilingboy:
 Gosh, d.a, you actually sound a little defensive now. Through with the insults. Let me remind you, Mr. Maturity that you began this with some pretty wild insults. Now that that's said, let me make an obvious point: This site promotes feedback by allowing reader comments. That's it. It's not a social club for you and your friends; it's a review forum going out over the entire world. See? Not some folks just writing about music. Plus, the wrters spend just as much time on these pages as the fans....defending themselves and other writers. Advertising doesn't matter? That's just disgenuous. This site exists to take in advertiser money. Many fine, worthy music sites are non-profit, and exist ONLY for getting the word out on great unheard music. There are countless sites for reviewing TRL songs. Stylus seems to want to be another one, but bullshits it's readers with the "jes folks" line. That offend MY sense of decency, you great humanitarian.Another point: Singles of this pre-teen stuff are fine, but a review of the Entire Nick Lachey album? A music site is setting itself up as an arbitor of taste; and by acepting, and soliciting advertising, it is looking to extend it's reach and influence. With that comes a certain responsibility to those who don't neccessarily know what to listen to. It's not about two old men bickering about who has more music experience. Either acknowledge that, or be quite. At the very least, you should should have not thrown down the gauntlet with your adolescent name-calling.
 
Posted 12/13/2005 - 08:51:37 AM by whiteboysushi:
 I'd like to think I'm pretty used to the whole 'hahaha look, pop music reviews, we're better than you' thing by now... but the one part that did manage to get my goat, for its utter lack of logic, was: "Girls Aloud are council estate girls made good, the same way the Spice Girls were, and as such there's an actual love of the job they're doing, it's an escape route from their past and into fame, as opposed to those haircut indie bands who would instead be working in their father’s law practice or lecturing in media studies."
 
Posted 12/13/2005 - 05:12:40 PM by dipdip:
 easy not sleazy
 
Posted 12/13/2005 - 05:13:53 PM by BeingaBunny:
 god fuckin nice tits i gotta get my dick out on this shit BOOOOIIIIIOIOIOIOIOIIIINGGGGG!!!!!!!!
 
Posted 12/13/2005 - 07:26:28 PM by samsamsam:
 I cant believe this bunch of useless bints have actually made it to thier third album. In fact, the only reason they're here is becuase of some shitty reality TV show if I remember rightly. Thats really low.
 
Posted 12/14/2005 - 04:23:05 AM by iainrf:
 whiteboysushi: everyone knows that indie is terrible because everyone that makes/likes it is middle class and thus the worst type of person ever!! Although to be fair the labelling of music from some quarters as 'chav music' is just as repellant.
 
Posted 12/15/2005 - 12:43:25 PM by ckramer:
 wow, i don't really care about girls aloud but reading that funny but overall depressing exchange between boilingboy and da boyfriend has made me never want to come here again. i'm 20 so i figure it's okay to come make comments but wow 43 is old. did that 43 dude just say "I seriously doubt you KNOW more than I do"? wow oh jeez. if i make a habit now of reading internet mags will i someday say something so pathetic. i never want to be close to being like that so bye forever stylus, you were never that interesting anyway i guess.
 
Posted 12/16/2005 - 05:43:16 AM by dougrokakis:
 to be faird to d.a., boilingboy is a huge loser. He's our Pancake_Repairman basically.
 
Posted 12/16/2005 - 10:44:18 AM by boilingboy:
 What the fuck does that mean? that's twice you've said that. I don't give a shit if d.a is your blog buddy. Like you, he insulted me and desearves what he gets. If you don't like criticism in a blog that encourages it, you have a right to your opinion. But don't go throwing out insults and expect not to hear about it. Fuck you, and your little clique.
 
Posted 12/16/2005 - 04:09:24 PM by dougrokakis:
 Whatever boilingboy. Just be glad you are the Pancake_Repairman of Stylus and not THE Pancake_Repairman on soulseek. Even if you're only the Stylus version it still makes you an asshole, but the soulseek version is something entirely different. Can't even describe my hatred for that guy.
 
Posted 12/16/2005 - 04:57:22 PM by boilingboy:
 Dougie, you need to get a life outside of internet blogs. Try reading a book, seeing a movie, stepping out of your parents' house to experience sunlight....something.
 
Posted 12/16/2005 - 05:35:14 PM by wmdavidson:
 I love it when a comments thread takes like 3 posts to devolve from criticizing the album at hand to "you will die bitter and alone." Classic.
 
Posted 12/17/2005 - 12:36:39 PM by dougrokakis:
 I like doing all of those things you just mentioned, except getting sunlight. This time of year especially makes it nearly impossible for me to get any which is why I'm on these blogs for at least a half hour a day. I'm 22 though, still in college, and yeah I live with my parents. But you are most likely a fat and bald 43 year old man who is unemployed and living with his parents. Who needs to get a life again?
 
Posted 12/20/2005 - 09:55:03 AM by boilingboy:
 Well, apparently you.
 
Posted 12/20/2005 - 12:38:33 PM by dannyboy:
 can you imagine if Dom had reviewed the christmas album?... Dang, that would have been carnage. a good album is a good album.
 
Posted 12/24/2005 - 06:26:38 AM by Aurens:
 Having listened to this album and Robyn's back to back, I can only say that this is exactly like a good bubblegum: it's really good and fun while it lasts but if you don't spit it out after having exhausted its juice, you're going to curse yourself for killing a perfectly good piece of gum and turning it into plasticene. And then when you feel racey lacey like an oversexed sixteen year old again, you can pop it in your mouth and the world goes 'whirl' again. Ah, such magical frivolous time.
 
Posted 12/24/2005 - 11:23:30 AM by Durruti1936:
 Quote: "In fact, the only reason they're here is becuase of some shitty reality TV show if I remember rightly." Yep, they won "Popstars - The Rivals" in which a boy group and girl group were created to go head-to-head in the UK charts. The boys were managed by judge Pete Waterman (and subsequently disappeared out of existence). Girls Aloud were managed by the other judge, Louis Walsh and pretty much every move from the beginning has been controlled and heavily financed - music, lyrics, outfits, promo videos. Apparently they were none too pleased when Louis told them they needed to lose weight at one point! And he's never quite been able to reign in the antics of Cheryl Tweedy (she was found guilty of racial assault on a toilet attendant in a club). Agree the most hilarious part of the review was the bit about "council estate girls" vs middle-class "indie bands". You saw it first; the proletarian revolution starts here, haha!
 
Posted 12/28/2005 - 03:41:31 PM by madmick:
 Homophobe
 
Posted 01/15/2006 - 12:11:55 PM by BeingaBunny:
 Heterophobe
 
Posted 01/27/2006 - 08:59:59 AM by noahsark:
 maybe the girls themselves aren't the artists here, but this is a brilliant album which to be frank is more interesting than most guitar music right now. move over to pitchfork if you fail to appreciate anything other than derivative indie rock music. the world is a really fucking strange place in the 21st century, a girl band being respected by an indie magazine really should be the least of your worries people.
 
Posted 04/27/2006 - 07:53:08 PM by samsamsam:
 Would the review have been as favorable if they were a bunch of munters, rather than a hand-picked selection of glamour models (and a ginger so it doesnt look too obvious) ?
 
Posted 12/12/2006 - 09:47:45 PM by MC_Tatsujin:
 I'm skipping the crap debate. Yes, brilliant album, deserves A+++ and not very cohesive.