Reviewed by: Dave Queen
Reviewed on: 2003-10-09

Posted 05/01/2004 - 12:26:38 PM by distortedeyes:
 Wow. What an utterly poor excuse for a 'review'. This was not, in anyway, a review of an album. Seems that this article was just a reason to sledge a band for personal reasons. If this article was serious, the title of "Track 12" would have been used ("Ruled By Secrecy") and there wouldn't have been a sore attempt of tacking a 'review-type' paragraph on the end. Considering the whole point of this article was a review of the album. I also don't see how assuming that Muse has no fans has anything to do with a review of the album, Absolution. Look, a reference to the album name, something which this article lacked to do. I think i am able to say confidently that this article was never intended to be a serious review of the album, and i am sorry to all people who wasted their time reading this, expecting a coherent review of an album. If you want a review of this album, i would suggest looking elsewhere.
Posted 05/17/2004 - 09:47:26 AM by MagicWindow:
 I must agree with distortedeyes. It helps if you write a review of the album instead of an infantile romp about how much you hate Muse and their fans. Of course, this terrible review couldn't be complete with at least mentioning the world "Radiohead" in there somewhere. If you're trying to write a review about Showbiz, piss off back to 1999.
Posted 08/11/2004 - 08:40:59 PM by jamieuk15:
 Does this prat work for NME? It appears that one thing Dave Queen has in common with this trashy attempt at rock journalism is the way they both slag off critically acclaimed bands for no perceptible reason other than for their own personal enjoyment. Do yourself a favour Mr Queen and crawl up your fucking arse, then rot there. To my ears at least, Muse positively shit on Radiohead in every conceivable way. It might be true that they are both English bands who write depressing music who do not conform to the expected industry norms, but consider the facts... 1. Muse have a wider audio palette than Radiohead and have 2 band members less 2. Muse have a 'sound'. Can anyone tell me what Radiohead's 'sound' is? Thought so. 3. When I put a Muse record on, I actually don't feel like slashing my throat with a bread knife! Goodnight London
Posted 11/27/2004 - 02:39:42 PM by historicrocker:
 I apologise if I'm being harsh here but... what the hell was that? You should be ashamed of yourself as a reviewr. Muse have a massive fanbase, so what's this all about? And quit the Radiohead comparisons: they don't stick anymore now that muse have taken a completely different direction. I would appreciate your take on the album ratehr than your obtuse regard to all muse-fans as invalids and complete inability to comment on a single aspect of the album. All you do here is make references to other bands' work and slate Absolution whilst having an unfounded basis by which to do so. I'm utterly disgusted. This album credited much more than a paltry 2/10 and frankly it's tinted my whole view of this review site.
Posted 12/09/2004 - 02:27:52 PM by IanMathers:
 Well, admittedly, I _haven't_ been to a club all year. Although the ones in this town would never play LCD Soundsystem anyway, so I guess I'm doomed to dislike it. As for the Killers... well, you can't win them all. I personally think "Mr. Brightside" is top 5, but that's life. One important thing: I don't think _any_ of these tracks, indie or not, are "token" selections.
Posted 12/13/2004 - 12:41:32 PM by audiosnag:
 Dave Queen is for lack of a better word.. a hack. I can appreciate a negetive review, even if i dont agree. (on a side note i thought Absolution was brilliant as is 95% of what Muse does) This however wasnt a negetive review. This wasnt a review period. It was a horribly written spewed lump of shite that just happened to have the word Muse scattered throughout. This is what you would expect on a post responding to the actual review. If your gonna give Absolution, or any cd a bad rating, justify it with some actual criticism. Not this garbage.
Posted 12/15/2004 - 12:54:48 PM by belgaridub:
 Well, it looks like the whole concept review idea didn't go over so well. The question is -- is it really worth trying to enrich these obtuse zombies' lives with a little spice every once in a while, or should we just let them keep listening to Muse? At any rate, this review would have felt more at home on Pitchfork than Stylus. I don't know if that's a compliment or a critique, but you can take it however you want it. I guess we did get an answer to one burning question, though: there are Muse fans out there.
Posted 12/20/2004 - 05:21:24 AM by Patches:
 OK, I believe in the subjective nature of art and all that, but there's just no fucking way that "Muse positively shit on Radiohead". Sorry, that's simply not how it is. Muse are bland and boring and chronically uninspired, and everyone over age 12 knows it. Anyway... the review was hilarious. Nice work, Dave.
Posted 12/28/2004 - 10:45:30 AM by tadetlugnt:
 Woah,hold up! I don't think Absolution is fantastic. I'm kinda indifferent. But jesus christ that was a wildy bitter review if ever i saw one. I'm not entirely sure it actually deserves the word review. And belgaridub? have you been to pitchfork recently? sure in the bad old days pitchfork would get out it's sniper rifle and fire on anything it didn't like(see jason josephes' review of anything) but recently, as befits good journalism, they have been a lot more tempered and mor importantly - their key weapon against something they don't like it reason. And Dave Queen... It's hardly my problem if somebody was so shunned by the cooler kids at school that they have to be hip as hell and hate Muse just because they couldn't play the riff to plug-in-baby on a casio keyboard. It really isn't. The band is tight and technically adept - Matt Bellamy is a great guitarist. And for the information of the reviewer of Origin of Symmetry, if you knew something about music of an age before about 1980, it would be apparent to you that the riff on Plug-in Baby has a much richer source than Air and is actually very cleverly adapted to a more modern setting. Reviewers should be given things to review which they have no preconceived ideas about. Impossible, i know. But man, is this shoddy writing.. Absolute bullshit. It's absolutely pathetic to be so bitter about a band. If you don't like it, you don't like it. But it's your personal opinion and probably one severely tainted by years of being the kid who was just there to be beaten up. You're too cool man, too cool. Oh how i worship you.
Posted 12/28/2004 - 10:48:06 AM by tadetlugnt:
 and just a thought: surely, if you know so much about what goes into making something truly important, experimental or just plainly melodic, why the hell aren't you in a well respected indie band?
Posted 12/28/2004 - 07:21:41 PM by ashkon52:
 So im passing by this site and I have to say... if this review is any example of what Stylus is about... then my hats of to its people for being so shit and still existing thus far. It doesnt really matter what this review has to say about the music... that went out the window about three sentences into the first paragraph. Its all about Mr Queen... running off in tangents... spending ample writing space on Queen and Metallica. And mouthing of at fans who apparently dont exist anyway. Its not a review but hate mail you'd expect in a far forgotten forum. Its unprovoked insults and ridiculous one-liners are so childish .... yet no doubt Mr Queen thinks he has graduated into the A league with this trash. This know-it-all, bigger than music itself prick hasnt earnt his stripes to be telling anyone where to go. Absolute shananigans! The worst review of anything I have ever come across!
Posted 12/28/2004 - 07:49:54 PM by Figanomics:
 Now that you've written your 'review', try actually taking the CD out of the case and listening to it. - DW
Posted 12/29/2004 - 12:49:12 AM by MeowyG:
 Please, do a review on Muse's Absolution not rant about it and yes, there are Muse fans.. Their shows are sold out in one day. You do the math.
Posted 12/29/2004 - 02:49:20 AM by Marjorie:
 How sad it is...i feel rancour in your words...why attacking fans ? it's so easy !! Why do you use the fans'way to criticize the band ? You attack the band, assume it, do it directly ! we would comment it the same way, you don't have to attack us to answer !
Posted 12/29/2004 - 03:12:24 AM by Figanomics:
 He can attack the fans all he wants...of course, they sold out an 18000-seater arena, two nights on the trot within hours! And that's not including the many International and UK fans who never got tickets.
Posted 12/29/2004 - 08:40:39 AM by Muser1:
 As the person said in the earlier comments.........."take the CD out of the case and actually listen to it", then review it. Isn't this the proper, professional way to write reviews instead of making up a bunch of rubbish that has nothing to do with the album. Also there are MUSE fans, period!
Posted 12/29/2004 - 09:32:02 AM by leebtheloser:
 You suck, Dave.
Posted 12/29/2004 - 09:38:23 AM by leebtheloser:
 I still think you suck.
Posted 12/29/2004 - 10:24:13 AM by Stuffa:
 lmao I just registered to the site just to post how crap this is even though its an old review So yeah... this = the crap don't really need to explain why it's been done a million times ohoho
Posted 12/29/2004 - 12:36:24 PM by TrishSparda:
 "Captain, search results for 'profesionalism' reveal nothing in this area." "What?! That can't be! Look harder!" "I'm sorry, sir. We cannot detect any professionalism from this review." "DAMN!"
Posted 12/29/2004 - 02:13:06 PM by musclemuseum:
 I dont even think this is good enough to be named as an 'review'It hardly speaks about the music,its mostly slagging off Muse and their fans.I think it talks more about other bands than it does about Muse.'Sometimes Muse fans (again, if they exist)'If they didn't exist then why would Muse have a tour and two nights at Earl`s Court sold out?????Explain that dave Queen.I cant believe someone got you to review this album because by the looks of this poor quality review that you didn't even listen to the album.'Track 12'a proper reviewer would have use the title's name(Endlessly).Abd also if the album was so crap why did it do so well in so many different countries(it also got to Number one in Britain)Explain that also Dave Queen.2/10 for the album???For this review i would give Dave Queen 0/10.
Posted 12/29/2004 - 02:18:52 PM by big_woody:
 fer chrissakes what is this guy on about! this is the biggest load of BS iv come across in a long time, try mentioning more detail and actually posting some criticism, oh and maybe some justifications as well for that matter. If ur trying to make more radiohead comparisons i second what someone else said, piss off back to 1999! in the words of muse, "i wish you'd hold your stage, with no feelings at all", that way it wouldn't hurt when every other muse fan was impaling u on a huge spike then dangling u over the fiery depths of hell by ur facial hair!
Posted 12/29/2004 - 09:12:19 PM by Ethan.Feldman:
 Where's the review? I saw a review of myself as a person, and hell, even that was wrong. Dave Queen musta been dumped by his girlfriend, and had his only friend, Mr. Tickles, devoured by the dog before he wrote this sad excuse for a review. Dave Queen, it would not bother me if your house caught on fire and the flames consumed your cat.
Posted 12/30/2004 - 09:56:37 PM by Jonesy038:
 Mr Queen, it is my sad duty to have to inform you that you are in fact a self-embroiled tool of the highest order. You invariably stay in at night knocking one off to late night programmes on Bravo TV involving fat women and hermaphrodites. Was that supposed to be a review? I think it said more about you than it did about Muse. No fans? "Can you imagine Muse fans, period?'. Give me your e-mail address, I'll send you some pictures of the 20,000 packed into Earl's Court the other sunday, and I'm sure someone else would furnish you with the same for the following night two. Two sell out shows at Earl's Court on two consecutive nights; clearly a band on their last legs and on the brink of losing their record deal eh Mr Queen!! I'm guessing you're a fairly small sort of chap, this thing happens a lot, so don't worry you're not alone. Many small men feel a certain insecurity which manifests itself in this way- trying to make up for your lack of physical stature by being outspoken and arrogant. But remember Dave, just because you're the size of a child, doesn't mean you have to act like one. You seem to enjoy the fact that your 'review' is obscure, pretentious and quirky, but really it just serves to make you look like a bit of a tit who is desperately trying to make up for the size of his manhood by being controversial. Whatsmore, two can play at that game, so here's something pretentious for you Mr Queen: Here's a tip, remove your head from you know where, and then you might actually be able to hear the CDs and talk about them, rather than indulging yourself in some pompous, self-righteous, vitriolic, turgid, affected, haughty, puffed-up, supercilious, conceited piece of toss.
Posted 01/01/2005 - 01:07:05 PM by DogWitch:
 After reading your poor excuse of a review a took out my copy of Absolution once more in the hope that perhpas your review may have changed my opinion on Muse. You failed. Next time you write a review, please write about the music, not about us fans. And you think Muse have no fans? Then please try and explain to me why 16,000+ people have signed up to the offical Forum, please explain to me why they managed to sell out 2 dates in a row at Earls court in less than 3 days? Please tell me why their albums have gone platinum? Please tell me if I'm really a fan or do I just have my walls plastered in their posters for tha sake of it? I learnt to play all of The Origin Of Symmetry and Absolution on my I fan?
Posted 01/02/2005 - 08:05:56 AM by f.a.w.k.:
 dave, i'm trying to see things from your point of view, but i can't seem to get my head that far up my ass. and it has nothing to do with my feelings of the band. in fact i searched some of your other "reviews" and found that you spit out such unecessary crap, that its probably not worth my time to post. but i did anyways, and now your stuck with this. it seems to me that your real love is not actually listening and reviewing music, but actually trying to create paragraphs that William Faulkner would be jealous of. your grammer is awful (i'm still trying to figure out your fascination with parenthesis) and you overuse every type of comparative tool just to fill up the space. the quality of it actually makes me want to question your education history, as something like this would fail miserably in an elementary school. i want to slap you just for failing in your attempt to produce something that is of any quality, and i have yet to even touch on the content of your review. speaking of which, stylus really should check your history and background in this field as you really have no clue as to what you are doing. most people research. if you had done this small bit of work before reviewing you would have found out some interesting things. for instance, metallica actually finds muse to be a very very good band, and admires their lyrical quality. secondly, muse does have fans, in fact enough to sell out several venues both in england and overseas, including america. thirdly, if their live show is so awful how do they win best live uk act at the 2004 mtv euro awards? if fact, they were the only uk act to win an award at the awards festival. finally, you rated this a 2. i received more points on my SAT just for filling my name bubbles in correctly. so i guess i'm trying to say, dave, is stop wearing your ass for a hat, it will help you hear the music.
Posted 01/02/2005 - 04:21:23 PM by darkshines:
 This guy desrves a slap on his face, wat a git, he obviously has no clue, muse are one of the best bands in the world,(in my opinion the best but some may disagree) That is the WORST reviewer in the world!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted 01/02/2005 - 04:29:10 PM by darkshines:
 just saying, the only reason i registerd is to say than Dave Queen is a Shite reviewer.
Posted 03/05/2005 - 04:05:57 PM by matt__foster:
 Feel better now you've got that off your chest? Fair enough, you clearly don't like Muse, but instead of spending so much time ridiculing song names, or worse still, people whose music taste varies from yours, how about a rundown of some of the tracks and your reasons why exactly they're so terrible. Personally, as a Radiohead and Muse fan, I can see the merit of both bands. Muse don't think they're the best band in the world, and rightly so, they're not. But they make some nicely unconventional pop music that many people actually enjoy. Give the guys a break.
Posted 03/18/2005 - 02:46:53 AM by audiosnag:
 hey belgaridub...what in the blue bloody hell is a concept review???? this isnt a piece of art its a cd review! the whole purpose is to educate a person, not leave them scratching their head wondering what drugs legal or otherwise the author was on...your a moron my friend...a MORON and if u dont like it then i guess u just cant take my concept posting ...moron
Posted 04/11/2005 - 10:05:23 PM by screenager:
 Well that was the first "review" I have read on this site and it will also be the last. I don't think that you even listened to the CD did you? I have never read so much crap in my life. Fair enough if you don't like the album (I believe there are a few strange people out there who don't) I accept that people have different musical tastes. However you should at least tell us why you feel this way. Instead you write endless paragraphs of cr@p, making stupid statements (If they have no fans then why did I have to pay £45 for a ticket to see them in Earl's Court a few months ago?) that you cannot backup in any way whatsoever. You are the worst "reviewer" I have ever come acrosss
Posted 06/18/2005 - 02:04:31 PM by PopeJohnPaul:
 This must have got posted on the Muse fan site, eh? I'll agree with the general concensus that the review isn't that good, but the fact remains that Muse is derivative shite.
Posted 08/21/2006 - 07:22:57 PM by farore:
 Although it is okay if Mr. Queen does not like Muse, does he really need to pick on the fans? Well, of course not. In those 15 lines he dedicated to portray a 'Muse fan' (and yes, there are a lot of Muse fans out there), he could have explained why he hates Muse so much. I thought a music review was about explaining the reasons the critic has to rate a certain piece of music, not about disrespecting those with different musical tastes.
Posted 08/25/2006 - 09:26:05 AM by LastBroadcast:
 how old do you have to be to write reviews for Stylus? 16? many of the other reviews i've seen here have been well thought-out, descriptive, and relevant to the ostensive subject matter. this, however, was none of these. may i suggest that the editors at Stylus allow an actual review of the album in question to be written by someone who isn't the lamest, bitterest kid at his local high school? someone who can LISTEN to the album and rate it based on sound reasoning and/or aesthetic value, not hate it because the fans of the band are cooler than he is. ANY review, on ANY band/album, that spends more than half its length shitting on that band's fans while neglecting the substance of the band/album is very simply not acceptable musical journalism. period.
Posted 01/19/2007 - 08:46:30 AM by TeenageRiot701:
 Well, after reading through these reviews of your review, i thought it was probably unnecessary. But since your review is realy just that terrible, i wanted to rip on it too. First of all, like EVERYONE else said, this was not a review, just a 9-year old, on their period, bitch fest of something you obviously know nothing about. This review was intended to make yourself sound smart when in actuality, your an ignorant fuck. I was almost proud of you that you had the musical knowledge to know the name of a band like Radiohead. Every line of this that I read made me progressivley angrier. To me, youve heard the name Smashing Pumpkins and Tool once before so you thought, what the hell, ill compare to yet another topic i know nothing about. Track 12? You mean Endlessly, is in no way, a blatant copy of Everything In It's Right Place. Once again, you my friend, are an ignorant fuck. Since when is the name of a song a factor in whether a song is good or not. You rip on Muse's song names with Queen songs as a comparison to good ones??? It sounds like the only band you know a living shit about is Queen. Or rather, you read the back of your Mom's Queen's Greatest Hits cd and thought you could make yourself sound like an intelligent being. I cannot stress enough how much of fucking tool you are.
Posted 06/27/2007 - 04:42:41 PM by bucsnut18:
 This entire review is PATHETIC!!! Everything about it reaked of some opinionated ass dumpling who knows absolutely nothing about music going off on a band who he has no logical reason to dislike. Obviously, not everyone is going to like Muse... but to question whether or not there really are any Muse fans is RIDICULOUS!!! I wonder how he feels about Muse being the first band to sell out the new Wembley Stadium... I wonder how he feels about Muse blowing every other band on the planet away with their live performances. To compare Muse to anyone is absolutely retarded, seeing as how no one can capture their grandure or outright pompousity. I love everything about Muse but am always open to INTELLIGENT opinions. I have read articles before where people have bashed Muse where I could at least recognize an ounce of intelligence in what was written... but anyone who calls "Endlessly" a rip off of "Everything In It's Right Place" is a know-nothing twat who probably couldn't tell the difference between The Beatles and The Butthole Surfers. Dave Queen is a certified ass goblin... go get some musical culture you tasteless swine.
Posted 06/27/2007 - 04:54:01 PM by bucsnut18:
 I do wish the reviewer who questioned the existence of us fans had been there for both nights at Wembley... 180,000 people over the course of two nights... hmmmm... there must be a few Muse lovers out there, no???
Posted 07/27/2007 - 07:39:18 PM by Blackfield:
 Endlessly = Everyhting In It's Right Place? Wow. I guess the piano sounds are kind of similar. Everything In It's Right Place sounds like a Rhodes, or maybe a Wurlitzer. Problem being, that's one of the most common piano sounds in rock history. It's not like Thom Yorke invented the damn sound and Bellamy ripped him off, it's been used in probably thousands of other songs before either of them. Not to mention Bellamy uses Kawai stage pianos, so the sound is not even a duplicate. God you've got to be stupid to think he "copied" that. I mean really, what type of music journalist has not heard that piano sound before? Otherwise, they are completely different pieces.