Staff Top 10
Bullied Into Submission: Top Songs by Awful Bands Adored by Another. . .

By: Hope Zabriskie and Derek Miller

Posted 01/14/2005 - 08:34:10 AM by citycalmdown:
 Brave stuff! I’m with you on The Smiths, Derek. However, my ‘bullied into submission’ entry for The Smiths would be “Bigmouth Strikes Again”, on top of “Frankly, Mr. Shankly.”
Posted 01/14/2005 - 12:31:40 PM by skuter666:
 There’s worse than feeling guilty for having never warmed to the Prince “Revolution”, Derek. A fellow Minneapolitan until recently, I was all messed up on the skinny little dewd from the first time I heard Uptown til some time around Sign of the Times. Everything from bootlegs (remember how excited everyone got over The Black Album?), to “Special Guest” announcements that everyone knew were code for “Prince is gonna play First Ave. Maybe.” I’m better now, though, and I’ve come to terms with that particular WTF period in my life. You really nailed it with “...synths replaced the joyous swoon of electric pianos and...uprights”. Once I finally sussed that his most notable trick was mimicking James Brown, but with cheesy synth horn riffs instead of organic horn charts the way god meant them, well, it was all over for me. In retrospect, so much of it sounds overwhelmingly bad. I mean, I loves me some sleazy synth and all, but not as velveeta-filling-in-for-fatback. And the longer he went on, the more seriously he took himself, until every trace of the wry wit of his early days vanished. Then he crawled up his own ass, from whence he staged his comeback. Yikes.
Posted 01/14/2005 - 09:50:29 PM by snowface:
 Paul Mccartney, BOO!!! he's such a pop sell out bullshitter that didn't write any good songs. HAAAAAA HAHAHA wait it's NOT april 1st.
Posted 01/15/2005 - 04:26:35 AM by proffokker:
 I'm pretty sure that it was Paul, the smarmy bastard of the group, who officially broke up the band, but John, being the cheeky bastard of the group, would probably have done it if he wasn't beaten to the punch. Still, interesting and well-written article. I dare one of you to take on Stevie Wonder.
Posted 01/17/2005 - 04:13:28 AM by parham:
 Hope, you'll probably not be able to read this post as your sacrilege has certainly been punished by lightning strike. Should you escape retribution know this: your dismissal of the Liverpool lads little more than "endless words pouring into a paper cup." Moreover, "Creep"--a novelty song?--try the perfect articulation of angst-inflected love-sickness. A dozen years from now the opening strains of this ditty will still bring a tear to the eye and a lump to the throat. Pull your head out of your arse (and your heart too while you're at it) and give these lads another listen.
Posted 01/17/2005 - 08:32:32 AM by proffokker:
 I honestly like "Creep"--especially that little thing Johhny Greenwood does before the chorus, but I still shake my head when Thom Yorke sings the "Ruuuuuuuuuun!" part. It's a little overdone, frankly.