Pop Playground
The Top 40 Worst Albums of 2004

ut honestly, what's a list of favorite albums without a list of your least favorite? When it comes down to it, in fact, it's a lot more fun to hate...

See Ghostface.

New keyboard presets needed asap kthxbye.

As if getting back together and touring wasn’t enough…

Your genre of choice is a dead end. Discuss.

Shouting punkers who hate work and social convention. Original!

Chav pop by thugs from council estates. Classy.

It’s 2004.

Wants so desperately to be Daft Punk.

More honking lo-fi indie shit, only this time it’s clever as well as badly sung.

Noise is teh gay.

So, you’re really not good enough to have an album of your own, are you?

Australian indie, as if America and England didn’t make it bad enough already.

Token female makes proper microhouse album, covers “Maps” in case the gimmick isn’t enough.

Mash-ups! Hooray! Cos they were funny in 2002, weren’t they!

Oh for fuck’s sake they’re called “Panda Bear”.

Utterly sexless, joyless and repulsive: nudge-nudge dance moves and wink-wink disco riffs, unbearably arch, played by and for people who actually hate dancing, from a band who seem incredibly keen that we note how clever they are.

"Four hypnotic dirges of eerie ambience”. Why would you do this to yourself?

Online bio: “For so long Stina Nordenstam appeared to be running away. Like escape itself became the destination. Her music was homeless because that's what she wanted it to be.”

Folk without the decency to be freaky. Which, you know, just makes it bland.

For fuck’s sake does this ever END?! Does it ever even CHANGE?!

A solo album by the guitarist from RHCP.

Now he’s actually had a hit single, you can stop this pretence of actually liking him, because you’re not proving anything. No, he isn’t the spokesman for a generation, and yes, the way you talk about him is amazingly patronising.

Twats in masks own Beach Boys records and do impressions of farmyard animals; make it STOP.

Playing the harp and having a weird voice don't excuse you from having to write songs that are actually interesting.

And you thought Coldplay had cornered the market in treacle? These guys wrote the book.

Like listening to paint dry.

Yay drugs! Yay 40 year old men still taking drugs!

I see: so he’s a singer/songwriter whose—no, really—lyrics and arrangements have that special something? Next.

Lisping twat with more chips than shoulders. I don’t care about your car crash—you’re a dick.

Kylie for those who own mp3 blogs.

Hokey lo-fi indie shit that sounds like a busker frazzled on acid banging a guitar and chasing his lost dog.

Screeching and thumping that wants you to think it's profound—from an attention starved egotist.

10 years for this Mogwai cast-off? Suckers.

Does it not get REALLY FUCKING BORING for Nick Cave, writing the same album again and again ad nauseam, more and more embarrassing each time? He does write the damn things in a Brighton OFFICE, though, so I guess he has a high tolerance level for boredom, like accountants.

Gay rap—just what we always wanted. And the words make no sense.

I'm so bored of straight men and their problems. Put a tampon on it, please.

The Postal Service for people too hip to be hipsters.

Precocious teenage girl does hip-hop show tunes. I’d rather boil my own head than listen to this.

See Animal Collective. Minus the Beach Boys stuff.

Oh no! What indie shit have the kids voted for this year?

By: Stylus Staff

Log In to Post Comments
Posted 12/24/2004 - 12:52:02 AM by IanMathers:
Posted 12/24/2004 - 03:05:43 AM by ColinCooper:
 Stylus Magazine wishes all it's favourite albums of 2004 a merry Christmas.
Posted 12/24/2004 - 02:19:54 PM by Liarbythefire:
 Awesome....the description for The Necks was what I thought for John Frusciante's album. Here's a few more for some of the other better records this year. Modest Mouse - Good News For People Who Love Bad News: Broke guy whining about the same shit finally makes the same album again, but makes a lot of $$$. Brian Wilson - SMILE: Old guy finally writes that damn album every fanatic wanted and it sucks cock. TV on the Radio - Desparate Youth...: Who cares if you can't sing, you're from New York! Ashlee Simpson - Autobiography: As if ONE Courtney Love wasn't enough. Sondre Lerche - Two Way Monologue: More Beatles knock-offs for those not having enough of them. This is fun!
Posted 12/24/2004 - 04:51:37 PM by scoopsnoodle:
 So, you don't like nonsensical gay rap? Or you do? Are you being sarcastic? It's so hard to tell with you sometimes. I mean, I'd never really heard of it before, but who wouldn't like nonsensical gay rap? It sounds rad. What a great idea. Definitely the idea of the year. 1 - Nonsensical gay rap!!!!
Posted 12/27/2004 - 03:25:00 AM by proffokker:
 You've had zingier. Honestly, gay jokes?
Posted 12/27/2004 - 01:18:25 PM by mtwill:
 TMT, speaking truth to Indie Power! The best list I've seen this year. Right on all counts, except a bit too hard on Arcade Fire (but point well taken), Nick Cave and completely wrong on Bark Psychosis. Thank you, thank you, thank you for putting the Fiery Furnaces, the great hoax of 2004, at number 1--can we now all start admitting what a truly ridiculous piece of shit that is? Full critical amnesty for the repentant.
Posted 12/27/2004 - 01:23:43 PM by mtwill:
 Just read your best of list and now I see this is a joke. Tragic. Truly, tragic.
Posted 12/28/2004 - 04:49:03 PM by busabus:
 that is the absolute best description of Junior Boys I have ever read: the Postal Service for people too hip to be hipsters. Joe Panzner and Todd Burns once almost shed single tears when I told them that I thought Jr. Boys sounded like a soundtrack for shopping at the Gap. Now I know why. (wink wink)
Posted 01/04/2005 - 09:50:09 AM by infinite_delay:
 Wow. I've been searching most of my adult life for a word or phrase or series of pithy, intelligent vindictives to most thoroughly display my ire. Who knew I'd find one, simple word on the Stylus website for all the humorous hatred pent up in my heart. Simply call things 'gay'! It's perfect! No more time wasted with actual thought for me! Thanks Stylus!
Posted 01/13/2005 - 03:59:57 PM by poopypoop:
 oh, snap! seriously, you guys are so gay. hating is cool, especially hating hipsters when you are one! oh! very clever- take the albums that people like a lot and have been hyped all year and say that you hate them and make fun of them. really witty stuff. I wonder what would have been on your list in 1977- the clash, the sex pistols. how about 91. something tells me my bloody valentine would be "a bunch of british gaylords make noise for little girls" and nirvana is "a bunch of jerks scream a lot...how original!" and, by the way, I'll let you pussyfags have anal sex with me if you personally tell ghostface that you think he's gay. I actually know him a little, so just give me your address and I'll have him contact you personally. fucking pussy faggots!
Posted 01/19/2005 - 06:09:14 AM by NickSouthall:
 If people paid attention they'd notice that this list is EXACTLY THE SAME as the Favourite Albums of 2004 list...
all content copyright 2004 stylusmagazine.com