The Singles Jukebox
UK Chart Prediction League: Week 006



i’m as shocked as anyone to be in the lead as comfortably as I am. But, of course I then realized it was because I was the only contestant to not have taken a bye yet. As such, I’m taking the week off and letting the rest of you try to catch up. Good luck, Brandt! The scores, the picks, the drama!

Results
Individual
Todd Burns – 115 (Byes: 4)
Dom Passantino – 88 (3)
Scott Plagenhoef – 58 (3)
Scott McKeating – 52 (3)
William Swygart – 30 (3)
Gavin Mueller – 26 (3)
Simon Hampson – 22 (3)
John Brandt – 10 (3)

Team
United States – 66.75
United Kingdom – 48

Picks
United States

John Brandt

Stylus readers, I have a confession to make. I never listen to any of the songs on the UK charts (perhaps that explains my poor performance in this competition). However, that isn't going to stop me from predicting (correctly, I might add) this week's Radio One Top Ten one hundredth percent correctly.

1. Beyonce - Naughty Girl
I've only seen the video for this track twice, but Beyonce ... girl, you are so fine. The song, however, isn't that hot, but I'm willing to give it the one week benefit of the doubt.

2.The Rasmus - In The Shadows
Some guesses don’t need a long explanation.

3. McFly - Five Colours in Her Hair
I don't think I need to hear this song to know that I’m not interested. Songs about characters from youth dramas? No thank you good sirs; not unless it’s a song about Ashley Kirwin from Degrassi: The Next Generation, cause damn, May 31, 2004 can’t come soon enough.

4. Usher et al. - Yeah
Usher, the new black Michael Jackson, released this hott shit dance number first, which is a shame really, because now all of the other singles have to be slow jams. It's funny really, Lil' Jon used all of the sounds from this track a few months ago on the Youngbloodz single "Damn," but this single, unlike that other one has the beat to make your booty go , and that is a desirable attribute for a lead-off single.

5. Twista – Slow Jamz
Does it bother anyone else that Kanye West uses the same tabla beat over and over again? It’s not that it’s not good, it’s just that hearing it every year since 2002 has begun to wear on my nerves. I take that back, it’s a terrible tabla beat compared to the tabla beat from “Domestic Violence Pt. 2” no tabla pattern will ever top that one. Kanye, I don’t want to tell you how to do your job, but would it hurt you to pick up an ashiko? Perhaps a djembe?

6. DJ Casper – Cha Cha Slide
I’m sure hearing this song would only leave me more confused about it’s previous chart positions. As it stands, I feel that if I’d actually heard this I would actually place it lower in the countdown than I have it here. Quite possibly the most mind-boggling single since “The Fast Food Song.”

7. Anastacia – Left Outside Alone
It’s good to see that she earned her “pop star” chyron (that’s the thing at the bottom of your TV screen that tells you which talking head is what … thanks cable news internship!) on VH1 for something other than sharing the spotlight with Cindi Lauper in a Dr. Pepper commercial. I’m sure she’s on this track singing in that “blue eyed soul” vocal style that I hate so much, but hey, if this wasn’t her it would just be some other white broad belting it out.

8. Blue – Breathe Easy
I guess people will be happy when this song is out of the top ten. I guess I will be too.

9. Britney Spears - Toxic
Being the theme song to an as yet unfilmed James Bond movie gives this number enough juice to get through another week in the top ten. This one is a perfect dance song for white people, as it hands you the downbeats on a platter for your non-hip moving, feet shuffling dance party. Two, four, two, four, taste of your lips da da da da.

10. Atomic Kitten – Someone Like Me
Farewell single, I’m sure it sounds great.

Burns, it’s on you to pick up my slack on the United States side.

Gavin Mueller

1. Beyonce - Naughty Girl
2. Twista - Slow Jamz
3. Usher - Yeah
4. McFly - Five Colours In Her Hair
5. DJ Casper - Cha Cha Slide
6. Amy Winehouse - In My Bed
7. Britney - Toxic
8. Atomic Kitten - Someone Like Me
9. Kanye - Thru The Wire
10. Wiley - Wot Do U Call It?

Scott Plagenhoef

1. McFly - Five Colours In Her Hair
2. Usher - Yeah
3. Twista - Slow Jamz
4. Rasmus - In The Shadows
5. Special D - Come With Me
6. DJ Casper - Cha Cha Slide
7. Beyonce - Naughty Girl
8. Anastacia - Left Outside Alone
9. Britney Spears - Toxic
10. G-Unit - Wanna Get to Know U

United Kingdom
Dom Passantino
1- McFly- Five Colours In Her Hair
2- Usher ft Lil Jon and Ludacris- Yeah
3- The Rasmus- In The Shadows
4- DJ Casper- Cha Cha Slide
5- Anastacia- Left Outside Alone
6- Special D- Come With Me
7- Twista- Slow Jamz
8- Blue- Breathe Easy
9- Beyonce- Naughty Girl
10- Narcotic Thrust- I Like It

William B. Swygart

1) McFly - Five Colours In Her Hair
2) Usher ft. Ludacris & Li'l Jon - Yeah
3) Rasmus - In The Shadows
4) DJ Casper - Cha-Cha Slide
5) Twista ft. Kanye West & Jamie Foxx – Slow Jamz
6) Anastacia - Left Outside Alone
7) Beyonce - Naughty Girl
8) Special D – Come With Me
9) Britney Spears - Toxic
10) Blue - Breathe Easy

Simon Hampson

1. McFly- 5 Colours in her Hair
2. Usher- Yeah
3. Beyonce- Naughty Girl
4. DJ Caspar- Cha Cha Slide
5. Twista- Slow Jamz
6. Blue- Breathe Easy
7. Atomic Kitten- Someone Like Me
8. Kanye West- Through the Wire
9. Michelle- The Meaning of love
10. Outkast- The Way You Move

Scott McKeating

1. McFly - 5 Colours in Her Hair
2. Usher – Yeah
3. Twista – Slow Jamz
4. Beyonce - Naughty Girl
5. DJ Casper – Cha Cha Slide
6. Anastacia – Left Outside Alone
7. Blue – Breathe Easy
8. Atomic Kitten - Someone Like Me/Right Now
9. G-Unit – Wanna Get to Know You
10. Outkast - The Way You Move


By: Stylus Staff
Published on: 2004-04-09
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