Radio Ga Ga
elcome to the weekly UK Singles Jukebox: Radio Ga Ga. Last week, we saw Ruslana trample The Cure into the dirt. You can’t really argue with that looking at their post-Wish material. Long live the new flesh.
The format is simple: we take the crispy fresh leaves of the UK’s chart-bound pop singles, and let the reviewers sprinkle an assortment of dressings and cherry tomatoes over it, then add up the scores to a chilled crescendo of averages.
Best of My Love
Edward Oculicz: Impeccably crafted soul-cum-dance-pop with no attempt to be cool or "street", just a great song and someone who sings it like it should be done, without resorting to bellowing it out even though she could. A cut like this could have saved the last Sugababes album.
Dom Passantino: The Pete Best of sassy girl pop returns to try and save herself from a dumpsterdom she doesn’t deserve. She’s just… quintessentially 6/10.
Scott Mckeating: Javine got my votes during the whole of Pop Idol, she outshone the rest of those Exhaust Repair front desk secretary slappers now in Girls Aloud. This sadly is pish, try it with the sound turned down if you have MTV or even if you don’t.
Edward Oculicz: In which Pharrell imagines himself as a soul man and takes aim at the not-so-lofty heights of Maroon 5. And misses. As such, this is the most horrifying, pointless thing The Neptunes have put their name to so far. Yeah, because people don't listen to them for the beats (of which there are none to speak of), they want feeling and soul, don't they?
Dom Passantino: In a unique first for ‘Shirtless’ Pharrell Williams and his Nerds, this actually provided me with some entertainment. Specifically, the three seconds whilst watching the video that I thought that it was Mr. T playing the drums.
Scott McKeating: The chorus starts to go somewhere but just drifts off instead going for the all out epic sized wham-bam. Another example of Pharrell’s ‘take me seriously’ campaign this is leagues away from their pop hook Neptunes brilliance. He needs to get back to 5 notes and a 303 and enough of this sub-Ben Folds Five bullshit. That berk from The Roots Amir “?uestlove” guests on the drums in the video too.
Edward Oculicz: Excitable, but utterly uninteresting pounding trash-trance number with over-emoting. That sounds horrible, doesn't it?
Dom Passantino: MPD-suffering dance chown. 50% menu music to a Mega Drive scrolling beat-‘em-up circa 1991 and 50% “Bacardi Breezers 4 for £5, no baseball caps”. Rubbish.
Scott Mckeating: This music always seems to sound best when fucked on cheap speed and lager in the depths of a dark and sticky floored dancefloor, so in my living room this is pretty expendable. Generic ravey davey music.
Edward Oculicz: I thought it was going to turn into a jauntier version of Blur's "For Tomorrow" and got momentarily interested. Only momentarily, mind. Possibly an improvement on their last single which I remember being really awful, largely due to well-placed backing vocal action, but still needs some kind of tune to hum.
Dom Passantino: All hail the saviours of indie! They are saving indie! Again! Remember who was saving indie last week? They are now old and busted, the new hottness on the indie saviour scene are Razorlight, who are saving indie by sounding exactly like Maroon 5.
Scott Mckeating: Mid period Blur doing “10:15 on a Saturday Night” fronted by the new lead singer of Dodgy. Does nothing, goes nowhere.
All Day Long I Dream About Sex
Edward Oculicz: Even though the radio edit excises the hugely enjoyable and yet almost inexcusably daft video game breakdown in the middle, and the fact that the chorus has absolutely no tune at all to speak of, this is ridiculously good fun. Lyrics so bad they are brilliant. Not a single concession or piece of evidence of KNOWLEDGE of subtlety.
Dom Passantino: Better than KoRn, worse than Killer Mike. Is this meant to sound like Bouncing off Satellites era B-52s?
Scott Mckeating: He looks like a straight up prick and his voice is shitty beyond belief. The desperation to be cool is audibly and visibly palpable. People are wowing at the fact he’s sounding like he’s backing in the 80s…..so fucking what! How hard is it to recycle Gary Numan during an 80s style revival?
All I Want
Edward Oculicz: Reminds me periodically of "Sunny Came Home" and some rubbish song I saw last time the country music channel was on. The fact that this song is sandwiched between two covers (“Fever” and “'Beautiful View”) on her website does not bode well. For people who found Joss Stone too confronting and want something nice to trill along to while dusting.
Dom Passantino: DAWSON’S IS OVER STOP TRYING TO SOUNDTRACK IT. kthxbye.
Scott Mckeating: Has Leanne Rimes or Shitnia done this song before? I’m sure I know this song from somewhere. A Julia Roberts movie maybe? Some straight to video piece of shit about a Mommy who puts her job before her husband and kids before realising that all she wants is to be back at home with her family. Maybe she could nearly have an affair with that Matt guy from Friends. My talents are wasted here, y’know.
By: UK Stylus Staff
Published on: 2004-06-17